so tired, and very very random

I'm really not into eggplant. I should be, but it just feels like I'm eating a sponge. I think I'd rather try the cactus pads, at least they should be crunchy and not spongy. I already know I like bell pepper, but I think my next eggplant tasting will be ratatouille, and then I might just be done.   I say that with a twinge of guilt, I hate to give up, and maybe I'm just making it wrong.  I have a friend here who loves it plain and grilled.oh who am I kidding, I still won't give up, I'll just keep pinching my nose and squirming.

On a completely unrelated note, I watched a very sad tale yesterday. It was a quick dissolution of a long time friendship, and I was helpless as I saw it disintegrate in front of my eyes in a rapid succession of heated exchanges.  I'm tired, and I understand the one parties need for space and rest, and to not talk about it. I also understand the other side as well, there was no expectation or push for help or assistance. It was all emotional, and filled with years of things that I was not privy to, and then the friendship vanished as one person packed up and left.
Where ever you are in your friendships, please I beg of you, don't make me witness the death of your friendship with a long term friend of yours. It's painful and there is nothing that I can do, and I hate that feeling.  So myself and the remaining party are going to re-group and get focused on healing and living life in the most normal way we can until she is back a whole and can be completely independent again.

I've been up really really late everyday now for the last two weeks, so I'm pretty much exhausted.  But I have been reading another good book, although it is all about violence against women, and none of the characters are christian, so there is lots of sex, but none of the happy experiences are explained. The bad news is, the violent stuff that happens in the book, it is explained...it helps you understand the main characters and want revenge along with them, but it's not friendly  in any way.  "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo". I also should explain that although I have links for amazon still, I am not an amazon affiliate anymore, it's because I live in California and that's how it played out with them and amazon regarding the collection of taxes, or rather the non-collection of taxes.  I'd get into how this state really needs to learn how to budget like they obviously want everyone else to, but I'm pretty sure you all have heard it before and are tired of that conversation by now. Getting back to the book, if you like mysteries that are rather thrilling, this one is a good one.  Now, I also have to point out the beginning of the book is rather long and filled with the histories and developments of the characters.  It gets moving in the middle, i have not finished it, but I've heard that the end kind of moves in a different direction.

So that's my week in a nutshell. I'm looking into starting up some other new books, there is a Fallen series by Lauren Kate right now there are three books and a fourth is on it's way. I'm thinking of getting these and reading them, has any one else read them? It's more of a teen book I suppose.

The Madness Continues

Two weeks ago my house guest heart patient decide it was time for him to go home.  He packed up his things and  asked us to drive him home.  The good news is, he was taken off of most all of his restrictions, and was fine to get back to a bit more normal routine.  We had splurge even and went to get ice cream together.
The week after my father-in-law headed home my friend went in for her surgery.  I knew this one was coming, and I had already agreed to assist.  I was there through out her surgery and was so glad that she did not have any issues with breathing or anything during the process. It went very well.  The after affects have been a bit more than either of us expected, and we have learned so much more about each other though this process.  Nothing like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire together!  I will spare you all the details and her and I some embarrassment, but there are a few saying that we now know to be incorrect about what friends can and can not do.
Now if all of this going back and forth to the Dr.'s office wasn't fun enough, I've been trying to get caught up at work, and now my sister-in-law is moving! Another thing I knew was happening, and was completely exited for.  It all seems to be converging on one weekend though, and wow, I'm a bit overwhelmed with all that I have decided to tackle.
I'm sure if my mother was here she would tell me to slow down and get some rest, but I just can't seem to do that right now.

On a bright note, I got my monthly box of vegetables today! I keep thinking it is coming later in the month, and am surprised when it arrives a week earlier than I anticipated.

Monday 08/15/2011 - Friday 08/19/2011

Service: Regular

(Weights are approximate)

	4	cnt	Dinuba	Red Plum
	2	lb	Dinuba	Flame Seedless Grape
	1.5	lb	Our Farm	Yellow Squash, summer
	1.5	lb	Our Farm	Slicing Tomato
	1	cnt	Our Farm	Assorted Melon, musk
	1	cnt	Salinas	Bunched Broccoli
	1	cnt	Our Farm	Assorted Eggplant
	1	pt	Our Farm	Assorted Tomato, cherry
	1	bu	Watsonville	Green Leaf Lettuce

So, it looks like I will get to incorporate eggplant into something this week.  

Missing my mom, and new bowls

Previously I had mentioned how I was Eliminating Plastic From My Life and how I had found a great set of glass bowls.  Recently I found that Costco had the new version of my favorite Arc Bowls, and I picked up a set.  This left me with two, but the new set has red lids, and I prefer that to my old green ones.  So I was considering saving the old bowls and giving them to my sister at Thanksgiving.

It was serendipity, for the first time in my life I think I had a moment I could use that term for.  My sister's BFF came into town this weekend, the day I made up my mind to get  the new bowls, and she and her sister drove here.  The stars had aligned, and then the call came, they had some free time if I was able to drive to them.  I hurried to get ready, and then realized many of my bowls were being used, so I emptied them and washed them.  It took longer than I had realized, but I was ready to go.  If they had flown, I would not be able to send them back with glass bowls, but in a car, they could easily set them down on the floor of the back seat, or in the trunk and just let them go along for the ride.  We had a great time catching up, and they looked great in their new dresses.    My sister will now have glass bowls and not have so much of a need to store left overs in plastic containers.  I have room for the new bowls with red lids.
I'm quite happy now that everything worked out so well, and I still find it funny how things move my impromptu thought into action so quickly. 

This weekend was a busy, but fun time.  There was the visit with my sister's BFF and her sister, then my anniversary, and finally Mother's Day.  If you know me at all, you know I want to be a mother, but it just has not yet worked out for me.  I have also lost my mother to heart disease, it was sudden, but it happened in 2004.  I still miss her, every day.  It's not always with tears, or misty eyes, but those moments happen still.  Those moments are more frequent during the holidays, and celebrations, times when I know she would be excited, or that I would be expected to call. Then there are the times of stress and anxiety, when I wish to ask her what to do.

I think we all have someone who we call, one person we rely on for strength and encouragement, the stable force of love.  Until that person is no longer earth bound, love them and honor them as much as you can.

Table Settings and other formailities

I like to have nice dinners, I'm used to them for Holidays.  Spending time with my grandma and grandpa (dad's parents) taught me to enjoy festive occasions with the good china, the good silverware, the pretty stuff.  We celebrated in style.  The kids had their table, and the adults had theirs, until we were older and  could behave well at the table with the parents.  I missed the kids table, but the formal dinning area was amusing and adventurous in our family.  Grandma would eat off the people's plats next to her, my father, uncle and grandpa would talk "shop", and the ladies kept the kids in line and had conversations between themselves.  There were moments of fights between my aunt and grandma, they loved each other but were both very strong willed and rarely ever saw eye to eye on anything. Conversations were loud, and rambunctious.  It was fun just trying to keep up with it all, let alone try and interject a comment or two.  This differs greatly from my husbands family dinners.  They are more casual, but also more mannered in their conversation.  There is no raising your voice over the conversation of others to be heard.  They will move or talk later to finish a conversation.  It is much easier to speak and be heard, but I miss the more elegant table setting.  So, when I host dinners, I do it with all the formal trimmings that I'm used to, and a few more at times for fun.  My husband thinks I'm nutty, and he teases me about it, but when else will we ever use the fine china? When else will we pull out the fancy linens?

me as a kid at the grown up table in the formal dining area.

I have learned one very important lesson in the death of my mother, and that is, life is short.  There are no more times to celebrate with her, those have ended.  So, now I celebrate the moments I have left with the ones I love with flair.  I want them to know how special they are, how important and loved they are, how this celebration is worthy of the good stuff.  They are worth the fine things, the extra attention to detail, even the extra effort in cleaning up.

My Sister at the kids table, the room behind her is the formal dinning area, this is the kitchen.

I now go all out when I invite friends over for tea as well.  It's easy for me to post recipes and pictures of friends and family, but sharing how I set it up and what goes into the planning, that takes more effort.  I can plan for a while on how, and what I will share, what food I will present, what table settings I will use.  These are the rituals that I enjoy, and savor but they are hard to explain.  I will do my best though.

Setting up for tea

A More informal Thanksgiving setting

Partially set Christmas ever dinner table, the tea cups were out of place but we did not have a bread plate.

I was watching a comedian with my hubby, Larry the Cable Guy go to visit interesting sites Only in America.   One of his stops was at the home of Emily Post.  Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy — Episode Guide — History.com Larry Makes Moonshine. (2011). The History Channel website. Retrieved 4:15, March 25, 2011, from http://www.history.com/shows/only-in-america-with-larry-the-cable-guy/episodes/episodes-guide.This was hilarious to me, Larry is not known for manners at all and Emily Post was the Etiquette Queen.  If you get a chance watch the episode, the family of Emily Post is continuing the legacy.
All of this started me thinking about how many people I know here in my circle, who are not familiar with formal dinner settings, or many other formalities that I was raised to know.  I thought I should share.  I do not have kids to pass this stuff down to yet, and so you reading have become my students in this post. I hope you will allow me to share.

The glass was moved on this place setting, and I'm still teased about the place cards. Everyone was family, but the holders are Christmas themed, and we only host the Christmas Eve dinner with family each year.

I love sharing recipes and other things, but the real satisfaction is from the whole package. I did Medifast, and although the food was nourishing, and my hunger was satisfied, I was never completely sure that I had really eaten.  I started to bring my lunch with real utensils, and cloth napkins, to aid in the appearance of an actually dining experience.  I am eating real, whole foods now, and I am truly thankful.  There are some things that make sitting down to a meal together, magical.  People talk, ideas are shared, there is a time to relax and just be in the presence of those we love and cherish.

Buffet Table Setting

Remember to use the utensils on the outside first and work your way in.  That is a helpful thing to remember if you are in a social setting where you are using unfamiliar utensils. 

Here are some links to help you if you need to brush up, or learn it new entirely.
Table Settings with cheat sheets. 
Tip of the day: Properly Setting The Table

Table Settings

Settings Tips
Entertaining Table Setting

Have fun entertaining, and hosting family events.  Use the good stuff, and savor the memories.

A Hot Bowl of Comfort on an Uncomfortable Weekend

How ever familiar you are with PCOS, or me, I should warn you that I have moods, much like others with PCOS.  Sometimes they swing violently, and during those times I generally don't like to be around people much.  This weekend was working out to be busy, and fun, I was looking forward to it, and then things started piling up.  Let me give some back ground here for a minute.
I have two different sets of friends who are in the process of adopting, and I am so excited and happy for both of them. I was honored to complete a survey and let their different agencies know how wonderful each of them are.  I also have a younger friend whom I have worked with since she was in the children's ministry that I be-freinded, and she let me know that she is now expecting.  She is young and just beginning in her future, she will be giving her baby up for adoption, and she is very upset about it.  She will be graduating and heading off to college, and she had no family support to help her raise a child, so it is the best thing for her baby, it just hurts her to have to make that choice.  We are not the family that will be adopting that little blessing.
I'm here in full support, excitement and encouragement for all of my friends, but the baby shower for one of the families was this weekend, and it just hit me; overwhelming waves of "I wish that was me."  It's enough to drive me crazy, I can't share that with others or I'll never be invited to parties again.  In the true spirit of the moment I stayed home and hung out with my little doggies, they love me even when I'm in waves of sadness. Tears really don't wear well to parties, generally smiles are preferred facial attire.

So, today I made my PCOS version of comfort food.  I pulled out the crock pot and threw in my dried black beans, and some chicken stock (low sodium of course).  Since it took me until noon to decide to do this, I cranked the heat on high, and then I waited.  I had just received our new travel bags, so I packed my husbands toiletries and mine into our respective bags and had a great time throwing old things out.

After a few hours I checked on the beans and they were soft, so I rinsed and drained them.  Now the recipe that I made has been a favorite from my 5 Ingredient 15 Minute Cooking Light cook book.  The cookbook does assume that certain seasoning are pantry basics, and do not count towards the 5 ingredient list.

Black Bean Soup with Sausage

Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 6 hours
Yield: 6 Servings
Cost per Serving: $1.53

Ingredients

• 2  teaspoons  olive oil
• 1  onion, diced
• 3  cloves garlic, chopped
• 2  (15.5 oz.) cans black beans (I used the dried beans, which are less expensive and bring the cost per serving down.)
• 1  (16 oz.) jar salsa
• 1  cup  low-sodium chicken broth
• 2  (3 oz.) hot Italian sausage links (I use the L.F. Turkey Kielbasa sausage)
• 1/2  cup  chopped cilantro
• (I added 2 bell peppers, one red and one green, chopped)
• Salt and pepper

Preparation

Warm oil in a medium skillet over medium heat. Add onion and garlic and cook, stirring frequently, until onion is softened and translucent, about 5 minutes.
Combine onion mixture, beans (with their liquid), salsa and chicken broth in a slow cooker. Stir well and cook on low for 5 hours.
Stir sausages into bean mixture in slow cooker and cook for 1 hour longer. (I have been cooking the sausage first to brown it, and then adding it into the slow cooker already chopped and browned.)
Using tongs, remove sausages to a cutting board, cut into bite-size pieces and then return to slow cooker. Stir in cilantro and season with salt and pepper. Serve soup hot in bowls, with chopped avocado and a dollop of sour cream on top, if desired.

Nutritional Information

Calories:  635

Fat:  11g (sat 3g)

Protein:  38g

Carbohydrate:  101g

Fiber:  29g

Cholesterol:  21mg

Sodium:  025mg

All You, SEPTEMBER 2007

This is typically served with quesadillas, I'm avoiding gluten for a bit, and my hubby wanted corn bread, so I made corn bread muffins.  Here is another version you could try if you would like to experiment a bit.

 

Spicy Black Bean-and-Sausage Soup

Yield: 4 servings (serving size: 1 1/2 cups)

Ingredients

• 2  (15-ounce) cans black beans, drained and divided
• 2 1/2  cups  water, divided (I use chicken stock when I can)
• 1  tablespoon  olive oil
• 2  cups  diced onion
• 1  teaspoon  chili powder
• 1/2  teaspoon  ground cumin
• 1/4  to 1/2 teaspoon hot sauce
• 1/4  teaspoon  black pepper
• 1  garlic clove, minced
• 6  ounces  turkey kielbasa, diced

Preparation

Place 1 cup beans and 1/2 cup water in a food processor or blender, and process until smooth. (I don't do this, I leave them all whole, but I like a clear broth)
Heat olive oil in a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add the onion, and sauté 4 minutes or until onion is soft. Add bean purée, remaining beans, 2 cups water, chili powder, and next 4 ingredients (chili powder through garlic); bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in turkey kielbasa; cook 1 minute or until thoroughly heated.

Nutritional Information

Calories:  291 (26% from fat)

Fat:  8.3g (sat 2.6g,mono 3.5g,poly 1.5g)

Protein:  17.8g

Carbohydrate:  38.9g

Fiber:  7g

Cholesterol:  23mg

Iron:  7.8mg

Sodium:  789mg

Calcium:  72mg

Cooking Light, OCTOBER 1998

It's been a long day, and I'm worn from all of this, but It seems that if my family would really like to know what's going on, and why we don't have a family yet, and how I feel about all of this, I really should share it.  I usually don't, I like to remain positive, and keep the faith.  It's only fair though, to let you in on one or two of those days where I just feel out of sorts, and upset, and I wish that things were different, and that we were the one's celebrating along with our friends. I will share my little doggies love and support with you all, and if you can keep a secret, they really like to help me in the kitchen.

 They like to guard the floor beneath the cutting board, and keep it clean for me.  Only that section though, because they bring in all sorts of mud after they have been out side. 

Well, dish yourself up a bowl of comfort and sit back and relax, it's going to be a wild weekend. 

My dear, dear friend

LEONA DAVIDIAN 

Visit Guest Book

Leona Frances Davidian 1920 ~ 2011 Leona Frances Davidian, age 90, died on February 3, 2011 in Prescott, Arizona. She was born on July 18, 1920 in Akron, Ohio. Leona married Krikor Davidian in North Hollywood, California on June 30, 1974. Leona loved to be outdoors, hiking, biking, and walking on the beach with her husband Krikor, our Dad and Grand-father. When she was younger they could be seen riding their bikes throughout Salt Lake City. She also loved "her hummingbirds", and could spend hours watching them on her feeders. Another one of her hobbies was her "rose garden" in which she took great pride. Her grandchildren, Scott and Karin, remember the times they spent on the beach, camping in the mountains, fishing and eating the "most delicious trout" that they had caught. Leona loved to knit and crochet, especially making scarves for Krikor. Leona and Krikor were born again Christians, loved going to church and bible study. They read their bibles together, every day. She is survived by her loving husband, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather, Krikor. She is also survived by her daughter, Judy, son Edward, grandchildren, Scott and Karin, and eight great-grand-children, Max, Issabelle, Chloe, Rosie, Elizabeth, Mason, William, and soon to be born Ella. She was preceded in death by her son, Chad. Funeral services will be held in Salt Lake City, at the Redwood Memorial Funeral Home, 6500 S. Redwood Road, West Jordan on Friday, February 11 at 2:00 p.m., with interment immediately following. In lieu of flowers, Leona, would prefer donations to the Arthritis Foundation .

Published in Salt Lake Tribune on February 9, 2011

I found out today that my dear friend Fran passed away, which is just devastating to me.   I have known this beautiful woman since I was in Junior High.  Fran and Krikor opened their home to the youth that came in for Harvest Utah, and they housed my now husband.  That was when I met him. Krikor helped me with my french for school, and came to talk and share with my class, he won them over of course.  He could charm them all.  They were neighbors to my aunt and uncle, and were members of my home church, they were woven into many of my most precious memories, and have been an integral part of my growing up into the person I have become today.  Every moment of my life has include thoughts and prayers and memories of these two wonderful people. She and her husband both prayed for me daily since I was 21, and going through a difficult time in my life. I have only love and respect for Fran, and will miss her dearly.

New Year's Eve, a bit late in posting

The three little girls, one of which is a part of our normal crowd and I've known since she was born.

not a great picture of me, but it was the better of the two.

My darling friends and family, here is the crowd we spent New Years Eve with.  We had a great time, the ladies talked, and the guys got some rest.

there was one lonely little boy, but he got to play video games

Later in the night there were naps taken, but no pictures were taken of those.

We wish you a blessed New Year.  I've posted my thoughts for this new year already, here: New Year's Resolutions....  So you can take a look and see if you have similar thoughts or not.  In any case it's a new year with new possibilities.  I hope your celebrations were wonderful and filled with fun.