Monday, March 19, 2012

Books, Denial and Grief

I've been reading Wicked....

It's not your child's fairy tale.  It's the Grimm's version, and it's not light reading either.  Let me explain, if you had a difficult time seeing the symbolism in the movie Pleasantville then this movie is not for you. If you had trouble seeing the symbolism in the Old Man in the Sea, this book is probably not for you.  The play evidently is lighthearted, and fun I've never seen it so I can't say for any certainty how it is portrayed, but the book is not like the play.  It's the dark version of Sleeping Beauty, the one that has Sleeping Beauty raped while asleep, and not the lighter Grimm's version which was even altered more in the Disney version.
This book is good though, even with all the more mature themes going on, but I would suggest you reading it before suggesting it your young teens. 

This book and the readers thoughts on it have made me think about our expectations in general.  Lately my expectations have been challenged significantly.  Not in the way that I thought I would marry a prince and live happily ever after. But in that I still thought youth meant you still had a fair amount of health, clearly not the case.  I've know this, in my head, for ever.  I've seen children born sick, but now to many things have hit home for me to hang onto any form of happy delusion any longer.  Silent sicknesses have struck out family, babies have been born sick, and friends have died young. Others have been given horrible news, and we are now just praying for a miracle of healing.

This story is not like reading about pretty sparkly vampires, it's the dirty side of Oz. Gritty grimy and less dreamlike, and sing songy. 
Today, I think that's what I need.  Something out of this world, but still enough like it for me to relate to.

InCyst has begun to write blogs about the grief process in relation to PCOS.  This seems to have hit me at the right time, as i am headed back through the grief cycle once more. Although today it's about the denial stage.

So here's my little thought of the day.  Look up, find your faith, and see the beauty.  Life is not a fairy tale, but God is good, and life is short.  Enjoy the moment.
Looking up

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Tower of Power - as seen on Pinterest

My re-pin: Tower of Power

It looked to good not to try. We had the ingredients on hand, and little else so this was dinner. I had two servings, and my hubby had oatmeal on the side. It would make a great breakfast, but we did need some more for dinner. This was my first time poaching eggs, I need more practice.

Low Carb vegetable Replacement for Eggs Benedict
Today is a dreary and rainy day, and this meal is a reminder of sunshine. This winter is not quite rainy and drissly like normal, but I have been tankful for not having puddles of mud for my puppies to roll around in.  This week at work we are learning the important skill of forgiveness.  It is a skill, it does not come naturally and you only get better with practice.  One of my co-workers and I have devised a plan to help in this process moving along faster for another co-worker.  It would take the form of kind and gentle reminders, but thankfully our plan was not needed today.

If you are angry, take a step back and ask yourself why.  Why are you so hurt, why is it so important, who is being hurt by your anger, is it leading to unforgiveness?

Then remind yourself that you are the only one that is hurt by not forgiving someone, and that the mercy we give out to others is the mercy that will be dealt to us. I personally want as much mercy as possible.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Spear Throwing and dodging

A Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards, to be clear this is not a book review.  This is more of a thought, or a memory coming back to help me get through this latest of battles.  Maybe battles is to strong, maybe is not the day to debate that.

I'm tired today. I've been tired.  We have been getting documents together, okay for get we, it's been me.  Lots and lots of documents. I've been sick, so I am now catching up at work, and then just recently my computer got a virus.  I've been spending a week getting that thing removed.  We all have rough times, I get it.  But today I skipped lunch which was a big mistake. As it happened my co-worker left some for me to eat, and I did.  The problem is that this is greasy fast food stuff that makes my stomach sick. I'm trying to be healthy here people, and skipping lunch was the wrong move because it left me hungry and willing to eat stuff I normally would never touch.  How does all of this relate to a book I read a long time ago from Master's? I'm glad you asked, I do get side tracked at times. Today another co-worker and I had a conversation regarding our expectations when we were first hired and what has happened since.  I had expected less stress, they did not expect to feel so old etc.  The conversation got me to thinking about leadership, and what my role is in that relationship.  There was no direct talk against our boss, but my heart was there.  I've been mulling on it since.  This is not how I want to be, I want to be able to dodge the spear and arrows tossed by a crazy king and keep my sanity and respect for the throne.  I've tried to squash blame hunts, and not cast blame onto others. I'm not sure if it will work well in the latest fiasco, but he was really unprepared for witch hunts and finding where the fault lies for every client gripe.  Let's be honest, there are some people who are just not going to be happy, they complain.  Those people cause chaos in our office.  I'm getting off track here. 

Some of us find ourselves in the precarious position of being lead by someone who tosses spears, or goes on witch hunts but they are still our leader and in such a position they still need to be treated with respect and not tossed off the throne as is were.  How do you handle these situations?  I'm still working on the skill of dodging and letting these things fall to the floor, but it does cause me stress. 

Did you know I'm supposed to reduce my stress?  I am.  Although this last year, and now this last week have been rather a challenge to that goal.  I think I may need to give this book another read. It covers the story of David and Kind Saul..the one who threw spears at David; and who was not over thrown by David even though others would have helped him in a rebellion.  It puts things into perspective and maybe that is what I need today.

I'm praying for my cousin whose baby will need heart surgery.  Keep her in your prayers too.  These are the things that I see as real troubles, not the petty issues that are eating at me.  But here you have it, my small issues are gnawing at me today.

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