Thank you, for those from whom I have learned the most

 Paternal Grandparents - one known as the "Dragon-Lady"

Mother and daughter's

Today I have been thinking, dangerous I know, but today it's been meaningful.  I've actually been thinking about this for a very long time, and today I've decided to put it out there.  I have learned most things from my mother, who really should be up for sainthood, and if we were Catholic I would try.  But honestly there are others I have learned a great many things from, one of whom is my little sister.  She is stubborn and feisty, and all sorts of other good and troublesome things, but one thing she did was teach me how to love the unlovable.

My cousin and my little sister

I have many life stories to tell, and some day I will share them all, but today I will focus on one.  My grandma, the one nicknamed the "Dragon Lady". She had a great relationship with me, and my cousins, but not my sister.  I did not really notice it that much until one day when I was in Junior high, and we were visiting for Easter.  Walking around the Phoenix Zoo was not really a cool thing in my book back then, but I was looped arm in arm with Grandma and we were shopping.  Shopping was always fun with Grandma, she loved bags and jewelry and I loved those things as well.  As we were leaving the park, my sister came to join us, to also hug on grandma and to loop her arm through her other arm.  That's when Grandma became someone I had not known before, she physically pushed my sister away.  My parents noticed, I saw it, the whole world took notice.  I really was like time stood still. How could a grandparent push their grandchild away? Isn't there an unwritten rule, Grandparents must unconditionally love their grandchildren?  Maybe not their own children, but their grandchildren, yes they are the innocent and loved ones.  Not having been able to be old enough to make mistakes, talk back, and fight with grandparents, how could they not be just adored?  My father did something that day that was impressive and scary, he took a stand.  It was the best thing a father could do for his child, he would not allow his daughter to be treated like that. 

The parents

 Mind you, I'm not sure where this part of my father has gone now, but at the time he was completely there for my sister.  He stood up to his mother and exploded, letting her know that she was not allowed to treat my lil' sis in such a way.  My grandparents had a choice, they could choose to love and appreciate both of us, or see none of us.  When we left from that vacation we did not see them except holidays for a long long time.  When we did see them again, my grandparents had decided to treat us both with equal fairness, but I'm not sure if my grandmother really knew how to love my sister.  I saw though how my sister loved on my grandmother, through all her prickles and nettles, my sister hugged her anyways.  She visited her when she lived near her summer home, and no one else was there to take care of her, and somewhere during that time my grandma started to love and appreciate her back.  Grandma even took on the school where my sister was at, to claim the time that she was promised, to have my sister's company.

This was the trip, and here are my grandma and my sister

Love is messy, and problematic, and mostly it's a choice.  We don't get to choose our family, or how they will behave or respond to us, but we do get to choose how we respond to them.  I firmly believe in standing up for your children, and protecting them from those who would hurt them.  I believe in walking away from those who can not appreciate the gifts they have been given in their family.  I also know that I have a family member that has not loved me, and that I need to love through the nettles and the barbs.  I'm not sure how all of this will play out, and while my sister needs to do all she can to protect her family from a similar rottenness that she experienced, I have to still be there to point out the profound idiocy and hurt to the ones who are being hurtful.

Keep your family close, and protect the ones you love.  Learn the life lessons you need, and pass on the ones you can. Today I'm sharing a life story, one I've learned from.  You have stories as well, things that you have learned, hold onto the good.